Today is Peter's 10th monthiversary. To celebrate this occasion he beat the crap out of me.
There I was lying on the floor, minding my own business, when all of a sudden Peter crawls over to me, lifts up my shirt, and starts digging his fingers into my belly button. I reacted as any decent law-abiding American would, I laughed at the feeling of the little fingers tickling me. That only fed his sadistic glee, so he kept doing it. He'd poke my belly, I'd laugh painfully, then he'd move up to my head to laugh at me to my face. then back down to the gutwork.
He was kind enough to lay off the belly button after 5 minutes, and he moved back up to my head. Then he started sticking his fingers up my nostrils and tugging. Oh, how he'd laugh at my discomfort. Then he moved back down to my midsection.
He did slow down after a while and moved back up to my head so he could sneeze on my face. I think this was his attempt at waterboarding, unless that was what he meant by dumping his cup of water on my leg earlier...
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A chronicle of the events up to and beyond the arrival of a first-born son, from the perspective of his old man. Now Double Sized!
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1 comment:
Perhaps if you think of it as "enhanced interrogation techniques," you'll feel better about it.
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